Two years ago today (June 2), I began a project that I'd tried several times before without long-term success... I began writing a journal. However, I published it online thinking that having an audience might make a difference. It has. When I wrote for myself only, my efforts never lasted for more than a few months. Now, even with computer problems and security issues getting in the way... I always come back to the journal. When I'm old and gray, I'll have a decent record of this time in my life. I'll be happy that I've written what I have. Yet that's not why I keep coming back. I keep writing because of you guys. I keep writing because you want to hear my stories.
I know that I've not put together a decent entry in many moons. Yet the reason could be an entry in and of itself. I've been tied up in graduation and what has become the great job hunt. I've found a great opportunity, a pretty good opportunity and an almost pretty good opportunity. I'm in serious contention for the great opportunity and the almost pretty good opportunity. I'll find out about the third this week. I feel blessed to be in this situation less than a month after graduation, but I also feel stressed. Of the three, I've got a favorite picked out and I *really* want the job. I've interviewed for it and am a finalist, so the decision is out of my hands. Lack of control is something I rarely deal well with. I'd just like to call the guy up and say, "Hey, I'm your man so let's get to work." Of course, it doesn't work that way.
The great job hunt has also provided me with a refresher on my faith in God. I've heard the saying that God answers all prayers... It's just that sometimes, the answer is no. I believe that because I think God sees the big picture. I know that it will all work out in the end, it's just that I'd like it to work out right now. I'd like this job. I'd like to get it and get on with my life. I've prayed for the chance to do this job... I just don't want the answer to be no.
Of course, I realize that there could be a different plan for me... One that I don't immediately understand... One that could cause me to be frustrated and confused. My instinct is to be scared to death of the unknown plan... But I'm also trying to maintain my faith at a level that excludes the worry, the frustration and the confusion. That's easier said than done.
I've been promised a decision on one of the jobs this week. One of the others is a deal where they are trying to fill the position quickly, so I should hear about it pretty soon, too. The third is up in the air. I'm a finalist for it, but I haven't been told exactly when the position will be open.
So, as it stands, I'm hoping to have a job (and maybe a career) by the end of the month if not the end of the week. Yeesh. What's next? Fletch as a grown-up? Oh, my. Just when I thought the worries, frustration and confusion were over. heh, heh.