In amongst the bank statements from 2003, there are lots of random pieces of paper where I've jotted down my thoughts. I've got these things tucked into holes here and there. I sometimes wonder if anyone will bother reading them if I croaked. I guess it depends on what stuff they read first. Some of it would certainly steer you towards boredom. Other stuff would probably lure you in. Of course, there is some of it that I don't even understand.
For some reason, I can distinctly remember lying in bed one night in my last apartment and rolling over to grab a steno pad before turning out the light. I jotted a few things down in what I'm sure was an effort not to lose my thoughts while I slept.
"Maybe I just use people up... and then am too eager to discard them and
replace them with new ones."
I wrote my thoughts down to save them... but four or five years later, I have no specific idea what sparked those sorts of feelings.