July 19th, 2013


7-1 | Scribbles

A couple of weeks ago, I came in from work and decided that something had to be done with our computer room. We call it the computer room because it's where the computer is and because "the 'where everything goes to die' room" is entirely too wordy. So, I spent about 12 hours sorting, filing, shredding and trashing. I should have weighed the stacks of papers that went into the trash and recycling.

Of course, not everything that had accumulated was trash. I found a few gems along the way, like an envelope with this scribbled on the back:
"I didn't think I could have a relationship with Jessie without dating others first. And I couldn't legitimately date others because I had Jessie in the back of my mind. This is one of my regrets."
That original sentiment reminds me of a quote from the movie High Fidelity (which is quite autobiographical for me despite the fact that I've never owned a record shop):
"I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments."
I preach the "no regrets" philosophy to others. I do my best to live it myself. But like Sinatra, I've had a few. Without stopping to think of any one specific regret, I'd bet you $500 that every single one of them can be traced back to a lack of commitment in some form or the other.

The bad news? I've screwed some things up along the way. The good news? I know why. I like to think that puts me ahead of the game.