November 19th, 2003

letters

(no subject)

I stand by the belief that passionate people are passionate in all sorts of ways -- both good and bad. Alex & I are both very passionate people. Tonight, we sort of took a five-year step backwards towards the bad.

We were talking about something and I had to clarify a point. She said, "oh, that's not what I thought you meant." And, of course, I asked her what she thought I meant. We started a round of "tell me" and "no, it's no big deal." We went round and round and it actually got heated for a bit... Or as heated as a lame little discussion can. Suddenly, there was a silence that lasted for two or three solid minutes. I was petty. I refused to talk until she did. She finally broke the silence. She finally gave in. And she was right, it was no big deal.

I feel bad now. She called that a fight. It wasn't a fight. Trust me, I can tell many stories about fights. Hell, what just happened on the phone wasn't even an argument. It was merely heated discourse. But she labeled it a fight... and then said that she had to go to bed... Of course, she did have to go to bed, but I just hate ending a conversation where I don't feel like I'm on the same page with the person I'm talking to.

I apologized for keeping her up. I apologized for starting the whole stupid thing. I got nothing from her except... "What do you want me to say? Okay -- accepted," in a tone that was anything but accepting. She went on to say that she thought it would take us longer than a few weeks to fight. What's that supposed to mean? I have no idea what I want to happen with her. I'm getting plenty of "when's the wedding" e-mail, but I think there are still uncertainties. What happened tonight isn't one of them, but the way she reacted to it is.
  • Current Music
    I've Got The World On A String / Diana Krall
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got fletch

(no subject)

It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place 'cept you and me. So set 'em up Joe, I got a little story I think you should know. We're drinking my friend, to the end, of a brief episode. Make it one for my baby and one more for the road.
  • Current Music
    When You Come Back To Me Again / Garth Brooks
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got fletch

The hijack of your friends page continues...

I've had the tendacy to stay awake until, oh, 4 a.m. for many of my nights over the last few weeks. This resulted in me sleeping for a full 8 or 9 hours on days when I didn't have to work (and me wasting those days in bed)... And in me having only a couple of hours of sleep on days that I had to work. I figured that the cycle had to be broken somehow.

I saw the clock about 4 a.m. this morning and figured that I'd just stay up the rest of the night. I was sleepy as all hell, but had no desire to climb into bed. Yesterday, I slept in until almost 2 p.m. Yet, in the wee hours of this morning, I felt as though I would miss out on something if I slept. So I browsed strange Web sites and loaded my mind with more useless information. (Did you know that the Boy Scouts re-introduced the Wolverine as a patrol patch in 1991?) Then, I decided to clear my mind and work my body a bit. It's crazy how much better you feel after a brisk 30-minute power walk in the autumn air. Or perhaps you just feel crazy...

I came in and gave Alex a call. She's in Houston for business meetings and I knew she had to be somewhere by 7 a.m. and would be awake. I apologized for being a deepweed and although she sounded much more sleepy with about four hours sleep than I did with none, she sounded more accepting of my sorrow. Of course, she asked if we couldn't call me a dipstick instead as she knew what that was. I figured that a deepweed sounded like something I didn't want to be, yet was still something most folks couldn't figure out. That's appropriately Fletch.
  • Current Music
    Baby Blue / George Strait
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