December 29th, 2002

year from now

Death 1, Fletch 0

Ever watch ER when they've got a patient who has no pulse? And they shock 'em with paddles in hopes of jumpstarting the heart. Well, tonight... The person doing the shocking (although not quite like on ER) was me. I pressed a button and tried to restart a man's heart. I didn't succeed.

Tonight was a night of many firsts. First workable code. First time to see CPR in action. First time to participate in CPR. First time to see someone shocked with a defibullator. First time to shock someone with a defibrillator. First time that I really felt as though someone's life was in my hands.

Suprisingly, I don't feel totally wacky about this call. I've had a few "what if?" questions roll through my head, but I think we did a decent job. We tried our best and that wasn't good enough. I have a faith in God and a belief that when he wants someone, he gets them. Obviously, he wanted our guy tonight.

Anyhow, I could probably write a real entry on this. I'd like to, but I'm tired of promising real entries only for them never to appear. Besides, I'm just plain tired. I've got little more than three hours left on my shift and I think it's time to crawl in bed.
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