I've been dumped by friends before... More than a couple of times... And, interestingly, most of them were women. Perhaps this is an indicator of a deeper problem within. Maybe thing is something I should take a look at. Who knows... Therapy could be in order.
The odd thing with all of the others (hey -- there weren't that many) is that I didn't miss those other folks much. It was nice to have them around... But then *they* decided that the friendship wouldn't work out... and so I pretty much let them fly away. Life didn't stop. The clouds didn't mask the Sun. They weren't missed.
This week is a little different. I caught myself checking my buddy list to see if Alison was online when I logged on this afternoon. I've still got her phone numbers saved in my cell phone... And can remember some great conversations we had not too long ago. I even slipped and called her cell and caught her voice mail. That was probably a mistake. That voice... Well, that was the voice of a different girl. It was the voice of a girl who I loved to hear laugh. It was the voice that got a kick of me trying to mask my accent and pretend to be the police. It was the voice that kept me company and kept me awake when I was a tad too sleepy behind the wheel. That girl that I heard... Well, that can't be the girl who thinks I'm poisonous. Can it?
Now is the time to say, "fuck 'em." And I'd really like to. Actually, I'm sure I will. But it'll be different this time. Because I'll be moving on with a little something missing. And at the same time, I'll be moving on better off than I was before I met her. Maybe the time for us to have a relationship has come and gone. Maybe it's time for both of us to move on to other stuff. Maybe it's not meant to be. And it's those possibilities that keep me from fighting it all. "To everything is a season."