1) Who is the biggest dumbass you know?
After meetings today at City Hall, I could name several. But I won't. That's the sort of guy I am.
2) What is your favorite kind of cheese?
3) What county were you born in?
4) Automatic or Manual?
I have an automatic, but have no trouble with a stick.
5) Does tequila make your clothes fall off?
If I drank it... I'm sure it would. Vodka gets pretty close.
6) What is the biggest piece of furniture you own?
7) Have you ever licked the cheese off a Dorito & not eaten it?
Dorito's are nasty as they are. Why would I want to lick off the cheese.
8) What song would you like to be listening to right now?
Silence, actually. That would be nice.
9) Innie or outie?
13) Are you a tactful person?
I have my moments.
14) Have you ever told someone they didn't look bad when they did?
15) Do you question the norm?
16) Do you like to pop other peoples zits?
17) Are you guilty of handing out unsolicited advice?
You bet. :-)
18) Do you prefer to give or receive presents?
I go both ways.
19) Have you ever ridden a horse?
20) Do you own a deep fat fryer (like a fry-daddy)?
21) Do you like the smell of Ketchup?
Hmmm. Ketchup is good. Yes.
22) Have you ever regifted anyone?
I'm sure I have -- in lesser gift circles.
23) Have you ever smoked Pot?
24) Are you an impulsive person?
Only when I'm crazy.
25) Have you ever committed a Random Act Of Kindness?
I think so.
26) How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Too many for a guy. Probably six or seven pairs easy.
27) Do you read the shampoo bottle & ect. in the shower or bathtub?
No. I'm blind without my glasses.
28) Does it bother you that someone you know, other than your family members,
feel free to just walk in your house without knocking?
If there was someone like that, it would bother me.
29) Do you know anyone who has the uncanny ability to be able to (accurately)
finish your sentences?
Not consistently. But several people do it often enough.
30) Give me another word for penis?
The male erection. Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack's magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger... oh, and pedro.
31) Give me another word for vagina?
Pussy. Twat. Coochie. Hoo-hoo. Slit. Snatch. The Happy Hole.
32) If you could own your own company or business, what kind would it
World domination specialists.
33) How many pets do you have?
None. But Jessie has one. Does that count?
34) Have you ever had a "Fling"?
Yes I have.
35) Nachos or Pretzels (stadium kind)?
None of the above.
36) Do you think Brad & Angelina will last?
Why do I care?
37) Do you care?
38) Who makes you laugh the most?
The guys at work are pretty good at it.
39) Do you consider yourself a beautiful person on the inside?
On the inside? Fucking gorgeous.
40) Do think Michael Jackson is a freak or just misunderstood?
I steal Chele's answer... "A freak who is misunderstood?"
41) If you could be on any reality show, which one would it be?
I have no clue.
47) When I say the word ASSWIPE, who comes to mind?
Refer to question #1.
48) Have you ever let someone have something that was very special to you
because they needed it more?
Hrm. I'm not sure.
49) Can you sing well?
In the shower, call me Tony Friggin' Bennett.
50) How many times a day do you poop?
I like to average once a day. But I'm not one to get in the way of a good terd.
51) What is your favorite website?
52) Do you consider yourself an addict of any kind?
Yes. I have that kind of personality.
53) If your closest friend's companion came on to you would you tell your
Eh. Define "came on to." If it's just a little suggestion, it's okay. If it's groping... Well, that's something else.
54) What is your favorite song to make fun of?
I don't know. I need to find one.
55) Do you laugh a lot?
I think so.
56) Do you cry a lot?
No. I think my tear ducts are jammed.
57) Have you ever saved anyone's life?
Eh. Not really. I've helped extend a life before.
58) What is your favorite thing to do to relax?
Masturbate? Okay. That was probably too open. Oddly enough, graphic design relaxes me.
59) Do you ever count sheep?
60) Did you enjoy this survey?
Does it count as an entry for today? Then I guess so.