I have no idea what the phrase "sick as a dog" means because, well, I've never really seen a dog that was all that sick. However, if there's a pooch out there with sinus pain, nasal congestion and runny nose, watery eyes, itchy ears and a generally cranky temperament... Then I am officially sick as a dog.
You've heard me lament about getting married during the holidays. CRAZY idea, I tell you. Sure, no one can believe that it's already the 21st of December, but it's especially hard for me. Last time I came up for air, it was the middle of November and I had a wedding bearing down on me. Now, I'm trying to come up for air and I can't breathe through my friggin' nose.
It feels like now that the holiday is here and I can attempt to enjoy it, I can't because I'm dying.
How can you have a nose that's runny and stopped up at the same time? That should be impossible somehow, shouldn't it? And, really, I think I could work past the abundance of useless snot and the lack of meaningful snot and the sensation that a snufalufagus was sitting on my forehead... What I can't work past is big damn tease my right nostril has turned into. Every five minutes, its starts to itch from top to bottom -- a prelude to a sneeze. Except, guess what? No friggin sneeze. Zilch. Nada. Nothing but disappointment and watery eyes. If I had any mascara, I'd be running laps around Tammy Faye.
In other news (only slightly), I'm dragging my sick ass to work tomorrow. I'm not one to avoid work for minor illness. After all, we have beds there. It's nothing to crash between runs and recuperate while on the clock. But this is now an intermediate illness and I really want to call in. However, the captain is out of state and I'm acting as officer and me calling in sick would force another captain or engineer to work extra during the holidays. I'm not out to give anyone the shaft at, this, the season of giving.
So, I endure. And I take these little orange pills. And I drink my 100% worth of Vitamin C in my glass of Tang. And I pray that some kid can do without his two front teeth for Christmas and I, instead, will get two working nostrils.