Thomas Fletcher (fletch31526) wrote,
Thomas Fletcher
fletch31526

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Five Years Ago: The Birth of a Journal

June 2, 2000

Quote Du Jour: "You know someone once said life's a stage and each must play a part. Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweetheart. Act one was where we met. I loved you at first glance. You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue. Then came act two. You seemed to change. You acted strange. And why I've never known. Honey, you lied when you said you lied when you said you loved me and I had no cause to doubt you. But I'd rather go on hearing your lies than to go on living without you. Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there with emptiness all around. And if you won't come back to me, then they can bring the curtain down." (Elvis Presley)



Yep, that's Elvis talking. I don't know how many hundreds of times I've heard that song in the last 22 years... but I can tell you that I've never paid as much attention to the spoken words as I did yesterday. I was playing with some music and stopped to listen to what the king was saying. You know, really listen. And it hit me. Because the king described (in spooky detail) a relationship I just ended a few months ago... and one that I've been struggling to not so much "get over," but to simply understand what happened.

That could be my fatal flaw. I have to know everything. It wasn't my first word as a kid... but I'm sure "why" was somewhere near the top. Even as a toddler learning to speak, I never took anything at face value. I had to know more. I was curious about everything and I never grew out of that stage. I know there is almost always more than meets the eye... and I know that some people have a problem with honesty... and so I usually want to figure everything out for myself. Now, by mentioning honesty (or a lack thereof) and wanting to figure things out... it brings me back to Elvis and to Lindsay Alexander.

Lindsay was a friend of a friend. I can't remember the first time I laid eyes on her... but I remember hearing someone talking about setting her up with a guy friend of mine and him saying no. I couldn't believe that. How could he pass up Lindsay? There wasn't one particular thing about her that interested me, but I knew that I wanted to know her better. In late October, 1999 she was among a group of folks that went to a hockey game and concert at the local arena. Again, I couldn't place it... but there was something special about her. Little did I know that in the next five months, Lindsay would make her mark on my life forever.

It's now been almost eight months since that hockey game... and the king's words ring true. Lindsay played the part perfectly. She told me she loved me. She wanted me to feel the same way... and when I decided that I loved her, too... she changed. Her "love" suddenly faded. We decided to end it. She moved on to others and left me wondering (as I have done so many times before in my life) why things happened the way they did.
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